My kids get wild just before bed and it makes me very cranky. I think Go the Fuck to Sleep was written for just about every parent out there. By 7:30 – 8:00 pm I am done. Fried. Ready to be alone. They jump on my bed, make lots of loud noises, and joke around and I lose my patience. Sometimes the only way they settle down is when I yell and they cry; it clears their systems and then they can stop the mayhem.
When I’m calm and not a fierce bad dragon I can lie with them and talk. It’s one of my favorite things to do but it doesn’t happen often enough. Last night it did. Violet hadn’t eaten anything all day and picked at her dinner. The bun was too brown, the egg stuck out too much and the juice tasted wrong. The crying began just as she started her homework. “I hate homework! I want to crumple it up and throw it in the trash!” Reassuring words from me… “I want to snuggle in bed. I hate homework. I hate school. I want to stay home tomorrow and pretend I am sick.” More reassuring words from me, “You don’t have to do your homework now. You’re tired. We’ll wake up early and finish it up. Don’t worry, sweetie.” “I hate homework. I want to cover it in dog slime and seaweed and crumple it up and throw it in the trash!” I held her and wrapped her up tightly in a blanket and rocked her like she was a baby. She calmed down but once the three of us were in bed the joking began. They couldn’t sleep so I started to talk about my day. “Today I was very worried about nana and couldn’t work. I have so much to do but I just sat there. She has a bad cough and it doesn’t sound good but she went to the doctor and she is much better! Then I went out and had a delicious sandwich with ricotta cheese, roasted tomatoes and arugula. Do you know what ricotta is?” No. “It’s delicious soft cheese but you wouldn’t like the texture. They also put pesto on the sandwich. It was so good.” “Mommy, pesto is pasta!” I explained how pesto is made and that it’s something often put on pasta but that it’s really a dressing. I started to talk some more but they were closing their eyes. I am not a very good storyteller but I am an expert at boring them to sleep.